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So its been a couple of days again. Today I did 78 minutes of exercise but I still feel guilty because I went to tgi Fridays with the family and had the Cajun chicken pasta minus the shrimp and bread. I know I should feel guilty because my daily intake was still under 2200 calories. I must say the pasta was very good and worth the indulgence.

Anybody else feel guilty today or feel good because they resisited temptation? What about all that Christmas candy? Unfortunately my family fills our Christmas stockings with 90% chocolate and candy so I'm still trying to think of ways to get rid of it and not over indulge.

If anybody else out there is reading this please respond with you holiday inspiration or horror stories.

Well its been a couple of days since my last post. I've gone home for the holidays and I've been dreading the food. Instead of enjoying and being happy with all the great food my mom makes it only brings about feelings of dread and terror. Why can't I enjoy the good times and food instead of feeling dread? I've been pretty good and haven't over eaten. I've also been exercising for about an extra hour a day. Sneaking into my room several times and doing 10 minutes of exercise with my imaginary jump rope.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas. It was good being back home.

Today

Howdy again.  I'm hoping the lack of response is because I just started the blog.  Today my struggle goes on  Went to the gym like normal, I've never missed a day in 8 years.  I've been struggling all day with decisions on what I want to eat tonight.  For some reasons I've really wanted to go out and get a frozen PF Changs Orange Chicken dinner but I had planned to eat left over three cheese and chicken penne I made the other night.  Tomorrow is my bi-monly weight in and I was afraid that the scale would be unkind if I ate the PF Changs and then I would be trying to compensate for the extra weight for the next 13 days. I finally stuck to my plan and ate the three cheese penne and see what the scale says.  If it looks good tomorrow I might get the PF Changs tomorrow instead of the Bisquick Pizza I have planned.

 Grrr is it all worth it? 

Welcome

Welcome.  Most of you are probably wondering why this blog is called Fat In My Head.  Well it's because mentally I still feel fat and obsesses with food even though I lost 90 lbs 8 years ago and now I'm super skinny but can't get out of the feeling that I'm still fat.

I hope to use this blog as a way of talking out my ideas and feelings.  I have a hard time talking to people and sharing my feelings so I've kept everything all "bottled" up inside.  It's crazy that even though I'm a male,5'9, and 130lbs I still obssess about every calories I eat and feel like I'm going to get fat if I over eat on anything. 

I guess my biggest fear is that I will get fat again and the last 8 years of my life watching what I eat and exercising will have been a waste.  I often ask myself is all this really worth it?  What if I end up getting hit by a car at age 30 and losing the weight didn't help me live any longer and all I did was waste precious time I had by obsessing with food?

Well give me your thoughts.  Anybody else out there feel the same way?